In the past, I shared a story about a judgmental mom in our playground, which surprisingly drew lots of attention from friends and readers. Making comments like “Oh I never see you in the playground after school,“ or “Oh I haven’t seen you at pick up in a while” and “Oh, but I saw your babysitter yesterday.” And our last run in “Let’s hang out, but I know you are soooo busy.“ I wanted to ask her what she was implying. “Are you trying to imply that I deprive my children of the playground or that I am never around, maybe?” Maybe she doesn’t understand that three days out of the week, I was chauffeuring Ryder to therapist appointments, in additions to my deadlines and conference calls.
Since that last encounter, even though I was annoyed with the situation, I’ve kept my distance. But, just this past week she actually felt the need to make another comment, this time to my husband. It was something to the effect that both of us are always working, and she never sees us. She doesn’t realize that we try to avoid her, at all costs, but Jason let her rant, but it went in one ear and out the other. As a sensitive person, it has taken some time for me to not let her judgmental comments get under my skin. Now, I simply look the other way.
The point I am trying to make is that moms, even dads, should not judge one another. We are all in this parenting thing together, and we need each other’s support. I am sharing this story as part of my participation with Similac’s Sisterhood of Motherhood campaign. The sisterhood has only one rule- nourish each other the same way we nourish our own children; and just like the sister who’s got your back, we’re there to help you through the first few days and months of motherhood with confidence, and zero judgment; the way it should be. I am forever thankful to have a supportive group of mom friends living far and near, who reassure me that I am doing a great job.
6 thoughts on “Perception Perceived”
Amen. We are all in this together and we are all just doing the best we can.
I always believe that women who choose to make judgements about others are just projecting their own insecurities and are generally unhappy with their own lot in life. So girlfriend you just keep on keeping on!
True! Maybe she wish she could afford a sitter and can’t voice then any other way 🙁
It’s so easy to create a story around what we see and I’ve learned that our stories are usually wrong. And I agree with what Melissa said. People tend to project their own insecurities on you. Perhaps this woman feels insignificant because she’s NOT busy and need affirmation that the way she spends her time is just as valuable as any other mom. But I’m with you – sometimes you just don’t like someone and don’t want to be around them!
I have your back girl you know my views…girls with old lifelong friends are the grounded ones the others are all desperate!
AMEN! The job of Mommy is hard!!! So how someone can experience it and still not give any kind of grace to another is beyond me. I had a friend post a pic of her kids enjoying the playground while I was still at work and her caption was something like “If you didn’t bring your kid to enjoy this beautiful weather today, you’re a bad parent” and I was so annoyed because OF COURSE I’d love to spend the afternoon in the park with my son but responsibilities needed me to be elsewhere. You’re doing an amazing job balancing it all, GOOD JOB MOM!!