As I sit here writing this, completely crossed eyed and ready to pass out, because of the lack of sleep that has been going on in our home. Our daily life has been completely been turned upside down. Gemma has not even slept through the night once, and Siella is back to her usual shenanigans of waking up all hours of the night and not wanting to go back to sleep. I feel the need to share what happened in our home last night because I am in tears and horrified it might happen again tonight. Our situation continues to get worse and worse.
I went to bed around 11pm, exhausted, but I had to finish up some articles and answer the never ending emails that pour into my inbox. By midnight, Siella was at my bedside asking to come into bed with us. I scooped her into our bed and with that she woke up Gemma. I tried to let her cry for a bit in hopes she would go back to sleep, but wound up feeding her just so I could get back to sleep. After I fed her she went back down, and proceeded to wake up around 2:30am. At this point, I then took her into Siella’s bed and nursed her again till she and I both fell back to sleep. I then was woken up at 3:30am to the sound of Siella whining like a crazy person because she didn’t see me in the bed. I then left Gemma sleeping in Siella’s bed (the bed is against the wall) to see what on earth could she want. She proceeded to carry on whining, wanting me to take her potty, and eventually waking up Gemma. So now at 4am Jason, Siella, Gemma, and myself are all wide awake. Siella didn’t go back to sleep and hasn’t crashed as of yet. But the bags under her eyes tell me any minute now. I am also forecasting the 3pm meltdowns.
Needless to say, I am at my breaking point. No joke, I haven’t slept more than a three hour slot since Gemma has been born. Seriously! And with lack of sleep comes me being irritated, exhausted, and barely functioning. For the kids come the tantrums, meltdowns, fighting with each other, and just not behaving. It’s beyond frustrating to say the least because they are not bad kids, they just lack sleep. And I am completely at a loss.
I’ve been letting a lot of things go these past fews weeks because I am just too tired to wrap my arms around it. I know Gemma doesn’t need to be fed a night, she’s not hungry, but doesn’t take a pacifier and nursing is the only way that soothes her. And I should totally be more strict with Siella, but when you are desperately needing like an hour of sleep, you will do anything!
But as tired as I am right now, I’m going to confront this sleep sitch happening. I have just hired a sleep consultant! Maybe this will work for us, maybe not, or maybe it’s time for a bigger living space? Suggestions are welcomed!