T Minus 20

It’s Sunday afternoon, and Jason just left for a 20 day work stretch to Los Angeles. It’s difficult to say if he will have an opportunity to come home in between, but I’m fully gearing myself up for survival mode. I think January is the hardest time for him to travel. We are just getting back into our grooves and coming out of our holiday befog. The kids have been use to having their Dad around, and even more so now, because they were on vacation from school, for what seemed like an eternity this holiday break.

We spent the last three weeks practically inseparable, complete as a parenting team, passing one chore on to the next including Gemma’s 5:30 wake up. Things were running smooth, how they should be, but I woke up this morning with crazy anxiety, in anticipation of how three weeks will be a hardship on horizon. I will have no partner taking the kids to school, activities, playdates, or birthday parties. It’s tougher especially during the winter months with the bitter cold temps, making it a trek no matter where we go.

But this Sunday, I started my day by trying to put a smile on my face rather than crumble, as I think about what is ahead. His flight was later in the afternoon, and we wanted to use up every last minute together, so we went out for an early dinner to a local restaurant in our hood. I tried to secretly bake a cake, since his birthday is on Friday and we won’t celebrate together. The kids blew up the surprise, as soon as they saw me in the kitchen. It went like this “Dad! Mommy has a surprise for you. She is making you a cake for your birthday!” It was cute though.

When we got back from dinner, we sang Happy Birthday and blew out the candles three times. I knew our time together was dwindling, and tried to hold back my tears and be the strong mama I’m expected to be. When it was time to go, Siella handed Jason a map she made with a rainbow and told him to follow it so he can get back home soon. Ryder vowed to not watch any Transformers without him, and Gemma kept saying “Bye Daddy” and giggling. I promised to FaceTime him with the kids as much as possible. And Jason, was just completely beside himself, also fighting back tears, becuase he had leave all of us behind.

As I sit here already counting down the days until he comes home, the kids are all playing quietly in the playroom and I’m thinking it may not be so bad. I’ve played the single wife plenty of times, and I’ll be able to handle it again. The nights are usually long and the weekends are extremely tough, but eventually, the time passes. Taking deep breaths, one day at a time, T minus 20 days and counting. Let’s do this.