The Single Wife Life Goes On

It’s been a long time since I’ve written about my single wife life woes, so I thought I’d catch you up on the latest. It’s no secret that Jason travels a ton for work. Last year while on the road, he made it back home on plenty of weekends, to give the sense of somewhat of a normal lifestyle. Well, then came January 2017. The month started, and he planned to be in California for two weeks, which rolled into another job, taking him to South Africa for another two weeks. In between, he managed to sneak back to NY for a mere twenty four hours over his birthday weekend.

While he’s gone, days are tough, and sometimes nights are even harder. With the kids getting older, one would think it has gotten better, but somehow, Gemma still makes her way into my bed at some point. These night time escapades involve her crawling into bed around 2am, and passing out, but just as I slip back into my sleep, she starts tossing around and nudging me. I try to move her back into her bed while she sleeps, but most of the time, she wakes, whaling at the notion of not staying with me. In the past, I blamed this on the size of our apartment, but with all of our travels, I have come to realize that this behavior is consistent regardless of where we sleep.

During the week, mornings are a tussle of getting dressed and eating, so we can make it out the door in time. While the kids are in school, I ration my time with meetings, conference calls and grocery shopping, before playdates, homework and dinner prep. I trust you mamas know exactly what I’m talking about.

And the weekends are the worst. I love getting out and doing things with the kids, so I feel guilty when I am on my own and we don’t have anything planned. Even if we have a proper outing, I am usually pre-occupied. For instance, last weekend was jam packed. While the kids claimed to have had the best time skiing, and so did I. I spent most of the following week trying to regroup and catch up on work emails. After that, I did remind myself, it was totally worth it, because the kids had a blast.

And I don’t want to go on a political rant, because I know you come here for fun tales and recommends, but I can’t ignore whats going on in the world right now, regardless of what side you’re on. Culling through my social media channels, littered with fighting, unfriending, and dividing, has really taken a mental toll on me. I’ve learned to curb time spent reading my feeds, but with my partner 8000 miles away and a seven hour time zone difference, this has left me with no one to talk about this.

If you are wondering how Ryder, Siella, and Gemma are holding, they are happy, healthy little souls, seemingly unphased that dad is away so long. They certainly miss him dearly, but they’ve grown accustomed to it now, which is the one thing that makes the time apart bearable. I am thankful to not have them crying over their dad is not around. I think I compensate for the both of us while he’s gone, insisting that their schedules and everything else proceeds as normal.

Through everything, I still know how fortunate we are to only be apart for a few weeks, or a month at a time. I know there are some many families out there who have parents and loved ones over seas protecting us. I continue to remind myself and the kids that we are in many ways lucky for this. Thanks to some help from my mom, I managed to get one full night’s rest uninterrupted, and will continue that all week, heading to bed at the same time the kids do. I keep reminding myself that these are precious times with my children, and have to cherish them even when I want to face plant from exhaustion. Like I said, things could be much more of  a struggle, so no need for a pity party. That said, it feels good to vent once in a while. I know some of you are in the same boat, so this is for the single wives! Thanks for listening.